25 May 2011

Worn Out

To put it simply...I'm worn out. I'm now 38 weeks and 3 days pregnant. My hips no longer work without being in bad pain. My back aches. My feet and ankles are swollen and my two year old is driving me banana sandwich. Little Miss has not had her paci since she lost it last week but wow she has been tough lately. I think she can sense that something big is about to change and is acting out because of it. She fights me everytime I put her for a nap and if she doesn't take a nap she is a monster and gets so overly tired. She's cut down naptime from 3-4 hours to only 2. But it takes at least an hour to get her to go to sleep for a nap and sometimes longer. She will just stand at the door and scream and I just keep going in and laying her back down. It's exhausting to say the least. We rarely leave the house because I can hardly walk and trying to control her by myself at this stage in my pregnancy is near impossible. Not too mention it has been so hot her and heat + swollen ankles....well they don't mix well. Keeping my house clean to my standards has been a struggle too. Thankfully hubby is helping a little with the dishes but unfortunately he's not helping all that much. He's working constantly and Sunday was his first day off in 3 weeks. I feel like a single mom. We rarely see him and when we do he's always so tired and takes a nap. He let me have a break last week to see a movie with a friend which was great and very well needed but I still feel so overwhelmed. I just can't wait to have my baby boy in my arms and out of my belly. Although, I'm getting a little stressed out and worried about being by myself all of the time with two kids and how I'm going to handle it....I wish I could just relax and not be so worried and stressed all of the time.

But the good news is I'm getting induced on my due date, June 6, at 6am. I've been doing everything I can to prepare my body for labor but I haven't made any progress in 3 weeks. I'm still only 1cm dialted and barely 50% effaced. This baby seems to be just as stubborn as Little Miss who was induced ten days late and still didn't want to come out. I have a lot of reservations about being induced as I had a pretty tramatic experience with Little Miss. But the reason I agreed to be induced on my due date is because that way my mom can be here and can be here for a little over a week. She starts a new job on the 13th so she has to be back home before that. She is driving down the 5th. It's just really important to her and me that she's here. She was so amazing to have by my side when I delivered Little Miss and I really want her there for the birth of baby boy. Plus, she is going to be staying with Little Miss at our house after I deliver. That is something that is just beyond important to my husband and I. Little Miss is rarely away from both of us at the same time and she is very close with my mom so I love that my mom can stay here with her until we are discharged from the hospital. I am just praying for a smooth and fast delivery. I want to just come asap after I give birth. I am going to miss Little Miss so much!!

Well I'm sorry for the rant I just needed to get all of this out. I am so stressed out. Thanks for listening :)

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