02 February 2011

Thus Begins...

Marriage counseling. The mister is on the phone right now with Military One Source getting everything set up and doing a preliminary evaluation. I am scared and hurt and praying this helps. I am not prepared to walk away and even after all this I love him more than words can describe. I don't ever want to kiss another man. I want to grow old with him and raise our babies together. I'm not sure what more I can do to make him happy. He says he's not himself anymore and has not been happy for a long time. I just want to make him happy. I cleaned my house for hours until I couldn't walk from exhaustion so that maybe coming home to a clean house would change his mind. I know it's stupid. I just can't lose him. I need him. My babies need him. I can't do this alone. I am trying so hard to be strong for my babies because they are my world. Every time this baby boy kicks it brings tears to my eyes but it motivates me to keep going. These kids will always have me no matter what and I will do my best give them a great life no matter what. I love both of them with all of my heart and will do whatever it takes to make them happy. I just hope I can put our family back together.


  1. Oh my. I'm so sorry to hear if this. I hope everything works out for you. You and your family are in my prayers.

  2. I'm so happy he decided to go to marriage counseling. I wish nothing but the best for you guys! I'll be thinking about you!

  3. You are a strong and beautiful woman, whatever the outcome - you will get through this with your head held high.

  4. I wish both of you all the best during this tough time. I will keep you guys in my prayers. Stay strong. I hope everything works out okay

  5. Time out: he says he's "not himself anymore"? Hmmm, interesting... That sounds a lot more like "I have personal issues that I need to deal with and therefore are making me shut off other people".

    That doesn't sound like he doesn't care- that sounds like he's feeling lost or out of control of his own life. Which happens. And therapy is a great place to figure yourself out, so hopefully he'll get himself on track and he'll remember all those reasons why, oh yeah, YOU'RE FANTASTIC.

    Or I could send him an e-card about it. Just let me know which route you're going with.

    I'm sending positive energy and good thoughts!