14 June 2012

Relaxation needed

When I was a kid I was extremely unorganized. Rarely, could you see the floor in my room an my locker at school was much the same. I had a hard time focusing and it got even worse when things were a mess. It was like if my room/backpack/locker were a mess then my head was a mess as well. Senior year of high school I was finally diagnosed with ADHD. If not for the medication I was put on I would have never graduated. For once in my life I was able to focus.

I stopped taking my medication when I left college the winter of 2007. Recently, I attempted to get retested for ADHD in hopes to have medication again but due to a busy schedule have been able to make an appointment.

A couple months back my husband and I began seeing a highly recommended marriage counselor. She is amazing and has helped us immensely. Our relationship has never been better. But, in seeing her she has said I have some pretty severe anxiety as well as problems shutting my brain off. I guess I thought the way my brain is was pretty normal for a mom of two...

I explained to her how I am unable to nap even though I sleep very little at night(little man is still nursing every 2 hours). The reason for my lack of naps is my brain. It's like a computer that's left on all the time. I'm constantly thinking...so much so that even when my husband tries to be intimate with me I end up blurting out a stupid question right in the middle of kissing..like "hey honey did you take out the trash?"... Let's just say that doesn't exactly turn my husband on. According to our therapist that is pretty severe. She has recommended that I wear a rubber band on my wrist and everytime my brain is thinking too much to snap the rubber band. She also said how I need to nap because even she can see how sleep deprived I am. She said I need to buy a mask and ear plugs(ones that can still hear human voice so I'll hear my kids wake up from their naps).

She is pushing me to see the therapist the doctor recommended for my ADHD ASAP but with physical therapy for my back and marriage counseling I just can't fit it in. Not to mention my husband is now working a second job.

Life is crazy and apparently so am I:) I guess I'm okay with that.


  1. I know you don't know me, but I was married to a man with ADHD for over 10 years, the five years he was on appropriate meds were the good years, the years before he was diagnosed, and the year after he decided that he didn't have ADHD after all were a lot more challenging.

    If you know you have ADHD, you have been successfully in medication before, and it is impacting your daily life, I really can't understand why you aren't willing to take the time to go for an appointment and get started.

    So, here is my kick in the pants list (I think you need it and know you need it or you wouldn't have written this post):
    Find a psychiatrist that is on your health plan and close to you. (Call the health plan if you aren't sure which psychiatrists are covered.)

    Make an appointment for 3-4 weeks out.

    Call the doctor who was prescribing your medications when you went off of them and find out what you need to do so that they can get your records to the new psychiatrist.

    Ask a friend to watch the kids, or make arrangements for your husband to have the two hours off. (If your mind is racing that much you will find plenty of time to think through who the perfect person is to ask and the five backups you can ask if they say no.)

    Please believe your marriage counselor, and someone who has been on the other side of the relationship, you can't afford NOT to find the time for this appointment!

    I hope you and your husband can both get the relief that comes from appropriate management of ADHD!

  2. I love you!!! It will work out. Praying it works out, soon, to get in with that doctor. I miss you already!