03 March 2012


I've finally done it. I've hit a point where I couldn't handle anymore and I had a breakdown. Everything so overwhelming right now. I can't hardly walk for more than a few minutes without being in pain and short of breath. I am in pain all the time. I can't do much for myself. I can't clean the house or really cook. I can't pick up my kids and breastfeeding has shown to be a big challenge.

Today my home nurse came. He showed me how to give myself antibiotics. I have to flush my line then do the meds then flush again then put some blood thinner in. It's a lot. Plus, change my dressings everyday and drain my drain every 8 hours.

I feel out of control and overwhelmed. I feel helpless. My husband doesn't seen to know how to take care of me or that he needs to make me meals for me or I probably won't eat. I feel defeated. I have officially hit my breaking point. I'm angry and depressed and I feel so helpless. All I can do is cry.

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