09 March 2011

Sick & Tired

Stress, Sadness, Anger, & Heartbreak have been the themes of my life lately. And today you get to listen to me vent because I can't hold all of this in anymore. All of this awful stuff in my life is beginning to effect my pregnancy. At my last doctor's appointment two weeks ago my blood pressure was extremely high. They took it three times. I just can't keep dealing with all of this stress. It's not good for me or my handsome and precious unborn baby boy.

I am just so sick and tired of being torn down by people. I am thankful for the people who love me and support me and it is only a few who don't. I'm sick and tired of being lobbed into the category of young and stupid because I am only 22 and married at 19. YES, I got pregnant outside of wedlock but I trusted and love my husband enough to marry him. Obviously, I was wrong and now I am paying for it. But guess what even though all of this went down and he wants me to leave I am still going to be a great mom. My babies have always and WILL always come first. I am young. I had my daughter at 20 years old. But NONE of that makes me stupid or immature. The day I saw the positive test on the pregnancy test two years ago is the day I grew up. My daughter has always been priority and I fail to see how these people could think differently. Is it because once every couple weeks my husband stays home with baby girl so I can get lunch or see a movie with a friend? Because that is called a break. I don't ever get breaks. Once every couple weeks is not much. We never hire a babysitter. I am with my daughter pretty much 24/7. I don't deserve the judgement. YES, I have flaws as EVERY human being does but I don't need them pointed out to me. I know my flaws and I work very hard to better myself every day. What I am glad about is it is only very few people feeding me this negativity. I have so many people standing behind me who love and support and appreciate them so much!! I have cut these people who bring me negativity out of my life. If they decide to apologize then no problem but until that day I DO NOT need the extra stress.

End of my rant.
Sometimes I just need to use this blog to vent. Thanks.


  1. Got your back sweetheart, you vent ALL you want too! It is YOUR blog and YOUR life and you must express it, do not bottle up how you feel!! I love you girl.

  2. You are not young and stupid whatsoever! You know what you wanted, you were secure in who you were. You were a wife and a mother. Your husband is the one who is having an identity crisis, and in the end he is the one who will be hurting. You can't control other people's behavior, so don't ever blame yourself. Just be the best mother you can be, and everything else will fall into place.
    "When love is lost, do not bow your head in sadness; instead keep your head up high and gaze into heaven for that is where your broken heart has been sent to heal."

  3. You have to take care of yourself and that involves ignoring those that try to tear you down. It hurts so much because all too often they seem to touch on that one thing we are insecure about in the first place. You know yourself, you know your relationship with your child(ren), they don't. Be strong and be the best you can. That's all that matters in the end, not the opinions of others.