20 August 2010

where'd you go? I miss you so.

Every day I grieve for you. Every day you are on my mind. Just when I think my heart is starting to heal, something reminds me of you and I realize I am still hurting for you. You weren't supposed to leave so soon and sometimes I wonder what it would be like if you were still here. I hope that you'd be proud of me. I hope that I would have made a point to call you and to keep in touch even though we live far away. I hope you and I would have stayed close.I know I shouldn't but sometimes I look back and wonder what if...What if you had went to the doctor at the first sign of not feeling good? Would you still be with us today? What if we hadn't had a wedding reception...would you have went to the doctor sooner instead of worrying about having to miss it due to your health? Sometimes I feel guilt. Sometimes I feel like if it weren't for us and the reception you would still be alive. I know you wouldn't want me to think this way but it is hard not to. I miss you and love you so much.


  1. Oh Heather, this is so sweet and heartbreaking. Please don't kill yourself with what ifs. They can really destroy you. Thinking about you right now.

  2. Visiting from Military Spouse blogger. Hang in there. My husband is currently in Afghanistan and I know how tough it can be.

    Much love!