03 November 2011

I HATE Money

I hate money. Plain and Simple. Sure, I love the things it can buy me but I HATE the way it separates people. I'll be honest, my husband was just promoted to Senior Airman so we are making a bit more money than we were but we are STILL broke. I have friends whose husband's make more or the same and they always have money to spend but I never do and I hate that. I hate that I can't go out to lunch with the girls because I can't afford it. I hate that I feel guilty about getting invited to a friend's kid's bday party because I can't afford to buy a gift. I'm so sick of money. I'm so sick of it preventing fun in our lives. I'm sick of it separating me from hanging out with my friends.

Some people seem to think that the military pays well and sure, it pays pretty good I guess considering this economy. I've read posts by other saying that if a military family is broke then they obviously don't know how to handle money...which is crazy.

We are currently paying on debt. We have a car payment which we wouldn't have if not for me being hit by an uninsured drunk driver. This happened right around the time I started this blog and I only had liability insurance. So we had to buy a car. Thankfully we put $6,500 down and only owe less than half of the final price still but 300/month is A LOT! My husband rides a motorcycle to work to save on gas. We paid cash for his bike so no payment there thankfully. We also have debt we can't afford to pay on. We have never had a family vacation other than roadtrips to visit family. We never had a real honeymoon. Yes, we like to eat out but we rarely do. Yes, we love to shop but again....we never do. I haven't had my hair cut in over a year.

So....where does our money go? Well, rent is a lot. 1175 a month. yay for living in an expensive city! We actually got a great deal on rent considering the size of our house and location. Then there's the 300/month car payment I mentioned. Then some debt we're paying and and car insurance...that's another  250/month. Plus bills. Electricity has been anywhere from 160-200/months thanks to this awful heat. I turn our A/C off as much as possible but if the kids are sweating I'm not going to keep it off. Plus cable/internet/home phone...another 105/month....I've though about doing away with cable once husband deploys but I feel like that will just make me even more lonely at night after the kids are in bed. The reason we have a home phone is so that we can use that instead of our cell phone to reduce our cell phone bill which is 150/month. Yes, we have a high cell phone bill. We have iphones. Living out of our means having iphones? maybe. but I will NOT give up iphones. Because with an iphone you can skype no matter where you are in the world as long as you have a wifi connection. My husband is always gone TDY so this let's us communicate. It means the kids can see and talk to daddy and THAT is more important than having a lower cell phone bill. Plus we enrolled Little Miss in dance which is helpful for her development and is 40/month. She also does a music class which is about 30/month. Then add in gas in my gas guzzler of car plus groceries and other expenses I forgot to mention....No add all that up and it's more than we make. Fabulous.

I am a coupon queen. If I wasn't we would rarely have enough food. We also get WIC...judge away.

I am constantly selling on ebay and trying to get my etsy shop off the ground and whatever else I can do to get some extra dolla bills. My husband is deploying in december and he hasn't been home to see his family in a year. BUT I have no clue how we will afford to drive 15 hours up there to see them. We are supposed to go over Thanksgiving but the numbers are against us. I am stressed to the max. I also have 3 kid's birthday parties in the next couple weeks and NO money to buy gifts. My friend's always get my kids and I awesome gifts and I feel so guilty. Do I still attend even if I can't bring a gift. The gas to get out to the base where the parties are is also a huge expense for me. I hate money. Anybody know how to grow a money tree?


  1. Congratulations on the recent advancement. Life gets easier. We all hit rough patches and there are definitely times when money is harder than others but we get through.

    Can you make presents for your friends kids instead of purchasing them (maybe using parts of your kids things- ie put a new flower on one of your daughters old headbands).

    PS- if you find those money tree seeds, please let me know!

  2. I think that you should go to the parties. You were invited, not for a gift, but for youre awesome company.
    Suggestion- a home made card. Means more to most than a gift bc you took time to make it with lil miss :-)

  3. We're in exactly the same spot- more bills than money. I haven't been able to hang out with friends for a year now. We can't afford to even go to McDonald's, and we are also on WIC (thank goodness for that!). I know how you feel. It's maddening.

  4. We are on a very limited budget now that my hubs is out of the Marines but a way to cut costs that I've found, and it may not work for you but just some ideas, we do not have cable, instead we have Netflix. When he was deployed or even now if he's working late or at class, I watch Netflix instant streaming. It's $14 or so a month, much cheaper than cable. Then I just watch broadcast tv during primetime. Cut your internet down to just basic internet or a step above and call your cell phone company and see if you can get a deal where you have alot of minutes or unlimited and see if that addition would be cheaper than your phone bill. We only use our cell phones which is $60 a month and our internet for the house is $30. Also I take alot of surveys online which I then turn around and use that money for extra stuff, so you could use that money for your daughter's dance and music classes. Google Clear Voice Surveys, Global Test Market and my favorite is Survey Spot. Have you thought about maybe babysitting or petsitting? That would be something extra to do while your hubs is deployed to keep you busy too. Good luck! Money does suck!

  5. Hey lady none of us can judge. Im not sure how long you have been married but I know the first 4 years of marriage we struggled. We ended up setting up a budget. What is important to us and why? We have iphones but no house phone. I make a menu for how many days I plan on grocery shopping using my coupons to go along with my menu. I mean all the way down to how many oz of whole milk my kids go through. They hubby gets an allowance. When he got promoted we pretended like it was just on his collar and not the bank. Since my hubby is on deployment we don't use the deployment money. I don't go out so my luxury is cable and internet. The kids get invited to parties and they go. I limit the driving I do to save on gas and I walk my 1st grader to school (3/4 of a mile one way) and only pick him up in the afternoons. I haven't gotten my nails, toes, hair, or any of that in a long time. This is my advice. Sit down and not after a stressful day. Make a realistic budget and you HAVE to stick to it. Make your list. Obvious expenses. Things you HAVE to pay. Water electric rent car payments, insurance, creditors. Then another column. secondary expenses. Food, gas, tolls, cable, internet, phones. OK where do you stand? How much is left? if nothing then you need to revaluate where your money is going. Then everything else goes into "savings." When you get invited to a party, go, no one if saying you have to spend 40 bucks on a gift. When you guys go out to dinner do you have to take the kids? Lets be honest kids don't care for sit down meals unless its pizza at chucky cheese. Do you have a trusted friend with kids that once a month you can swap watching each others' kids for free? The trips home. WE are guilty of this. Of course we would all love to go home but it adds up. Of course we want our children to know their families but its super expensive. Try and avoid those super expensive travel times. This life is so hard. Good luck