30 October 2011

Deployment #2 & My Birthday

In April 2010 I was searching for comfort. I was searching for help. I was searching for a place to vent. And that is when I decided I would start this blog. It has been there for me in some of the lowest places over the course of time and I want to thank you all so much for your kind comments and advice. This blog got me through Deployment #1 and now it's time for a Deployment #2...

I realize I have kind of screwed up my 31 Days series and took a bit of a bloggy break. A Week ago last friday night/saturday morning my husband went on a TDY to Alaska and then on Tuesday morning my mom came into town. My husband's trip got extended due to his plane breaking and he didn't get back until late Thursday night which was also my 23rd Birthday.

My mom wanted to make my birthday really special so she took the kids, my best friend, and I to lunch at the Cheesecake Factory. It was delicious! We laughed and ate and had a fabulous time. During that lunch my friend said in passing, "So, how are you doing with [Insert my husband's name here] deployment coming up?"

I looked at her with a look of shock and confusion. I had no idea what she was talking about. What's ironic is before this lunch I had just been having a conversation with my mom about how I had a feeling Husband would not be here for Christmas. Well, needless to say I was right. My friend's spouse works with Husband and they are deploying together. She felt terrible about spilling the beans before Husband told me but I was happy she did....even if it was on my birthday. Later that night I picked my husband up from the base from his TDY and asked him about it. He said he didn't want to tell me over the phone and certainly not on my birthday. I understood. So mid December Husband heads away for four months. I am sad. I am scared.

I have two kids now. I will not be living at mom's like I did last time. I will be alone. And to add to that two of my closest friends are moving away. One is leaving in December and one is leaving in January. So I will be really, really alone. I have other friends, thankfully, but I am so sad to see these girls go. I really don't know how I will get through this deployment without them. They have both become such important parts of my life.

But I guess that's how this military lifestyle goes. When you make amazing friends they move away. When your husband and you work out problems and begin to rekindle your love...he leaves. I'm sad for myself, to be without him. But more than that I'm sad for my kids. Husband will miss seeing Little Miss' face light up on Christmas morning. He will miss watching his son experience Christmas for the first time. He will miss Little Man began to crawl and maybe even walk. He might even miss Little Miss' 3rd Birthday. Thank God, I have a video camera. Now, I just need to figure out how to hook it up to my computer.

One of the girls that's moving has literally became my best friend. She is also, the one who spilled the beans about deployment. She is very close with my kids. They love her to death. She doesn't have kids of her own so she spoils mine like crazy. She is the only person outside of family who has ever babysat my kids. They love her and she loves them. I really hate that she is leaving. We will all miss her so much. It's not her fault she's leaving though. Nor, is it the military. It's her husband. He did some terrible, terrible, things and failed to see how beautiful and wonderful his wife is. He has no idea what he is losing. She is a fabulous person and will always be my best friend...not matter how far away she lives.

So I guess that's my update. More to come tomorrow...


  1. I have been following your blog since my boyfriend left last September. This is my first deployment and I've been looking for support. I found it here. Moreover, your blog encouraged me to get my own one about my very personal experience with this deployment. You're an inspiration. Thank you x